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That when babies suffocate, thru capillaries in their nose explode. Not me. Not my baby. She would wake up if I picked her up and changed her diaper, right? I remember the EMTs coming in and trying before rushing her to the hospital. I remember being talked to, driven to the police station, and being interrogated.

I remember the cop taking my shirt for evidence and handing me another to change into.

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I remember crying until my eyes were swollen, my face was smeared with snot, and my head hurt. I remember asking the officer if I was going to be arrested.

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I thought I was doing the right thing for my baby. I was reassured by multiple moms in mom groups that it was safe.


I ask every mom who reads this who still bedshares, intends to bedshare, or is on the fence between bedsharing and safe sleep — do you REALLY want to take that risk of a very tiny variable killing your baby — a variable you cannot control because you will be ASLEEP? Something told me to put my hands in the washing machine. I resisted. No way. Are you kidding me?

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Of course he is not in the washing machine. I call the coroner for answers every day.

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I remember the pallor of his face as I turned him over. Do you know someone who could benefit from this story? Jazz Latin New Age. Aggressive Bittersweet Druggy.

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Features Interviews Lists. Streams Videos All Posts. Stream or buy on:. Drinking Feeling Blue Hanging Out. Track Listing - Disc 1. Tulsa Time.

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Big Maceo Merriweather. All Our Past Times. After Midnight. Track Listing - Disc 2.